Journal
Time flies. Now, it's already about a week since my last discharge from NUH. And tomorrow, I need to make my way down to the Cancer Centre to have my second chemotherapy process done. It's an awfull experience ever since my first chemotherapy. I felt weak, tired, sleepy and completely helpless against the powerful medicine they're injecting into my bloodstream. The medicine makes me feel numb and chilly on the outside of me. Not only that, I vomitted that very night and I felt extremely terrible, I cried - my chest aches and my stomach, empty. The taste wasn't very good either. All these while, I thought I was one of the fittest soldiers in my platoon. This time, I was truly wrong. I now learned that even the fittest person could out of a sudden become terribly sick and weak in just over night.
Saw the doctor on Monday, just days ago. And he predicted that after my chemotherapy process, which is going to last me for 5 more cycles, there'll be a slight risk that I'll contract any new form of cancer in time to come, as I age. I felt a little sad and broken-hearted but I know that if God were to heal me, it shall be done. And He'll not go back on His promise.
Tonight, is the night i'm going to turn in earlier than other nights as my medical treatment will commence early tomorrow morning.
Man, I now feel terrible - or should i honestly say, fearful. Throughout my stay in that hospital, I ate the same food over and over again, and that's not all. I've received many injections and minor "needle" operations on my left chest and lower back (close to my butt area). From the start of my admission till today, I received a total of 46 injections including bi-opsies, GCSF and CT scans. I'm now afraid of needles. How long will these pains ever leave me? Even though an injection takes only a while, there'll bound to be more coming in time to come.
God, I pray you'll help me overcome my fear and this hurdle that is to come. I don't want to go through these painfull processes, but for the sake of my health, I have to. Make me strong and may your presence keep me going so that I'll endure my treatment to the very end. I do not want to trust any doctor's predictions about my health. They sadden me. I'm also scared. Yet, I believe that you'll heal me completely and never will any cancer strike me again, because I have many things uncompleted and I have a purpose to fulfill. O Lord, I pray you'll begin to work miracles in my health. Heal me and free me from this illness in time to come. Amen.
Saw the doctor on Monday, just days ago. And he predicted that after my chemotherapy process, which is going to last me for 5 more cycles, there'll be a slight risk that I'll contract any new form of cancer in time to come, as I age. I felt a little sad and broken-hearted but I know that if God were to heal me, it shall be done. And He'll not go back on His promise.
Tonight, is the night i'm going to turn in earlier than other nights as my medical treatment will commence early tomorrow morning.
Man, I now feel terrible - or should i honestly say, fearful. Throughout my stay in that hospital, I ate the same food over and over again, and that's not all. I've received many injections and minor "needle" operations on my left chest and lower back (close to my butt area). From the start of my admission till today, I received a total of 46 injections including bi-opsies, GCSF and CT scans. I'm now afraid of needles. How long will these pains ever leave me? Even though an injection takes only a while, there'll bound to be more coming in time to come.
God, I pray you'll help me overcome my fear and this hurdle that is to come. I don't want to go through these painfull processes, but for the sake of my health, I have to. Make me strong and may your presence keep me going so that I'll endure my treatment to the very end. I do not want to trust any doctor's predictions about my health. They sadden me. I'm also scared. Yet, I believe that you'll heal me completely and never will any cancer strike me again, because I have many things uncompleted and I have a purpose to fulfill. O Lord, I pray you'll begin to work miracles in my health. Heal me and free me from this illness in time to come. Amen.
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