Mood Swing
Hello again. I've not blogged for three days or so. But finally today, my mood drags me in here. To me, this blog is now a place of refuge where I hide from the world. I'm sick and tired of wearing masks everywhere I go. Yes, perhaps, I should be more true to myself. But I am. I am true to myself right here, in this place.
This is a place where God and I know and deeply understand. It is a place of refuge now. I believe no one is truly independent, in a way, all of us needs a resting place. It's already about 10 months and this blog has been the window to my heart. Just two more months and it'll be celebrating its first anniversary. And also, I'll be celebrating the first anniversary of the New Hope I received.
The New Hope allows me to continue living. Today I'm pretty messed up in my mind. Every conversation I had with my friends are totally screwed up. Yea, all thanks to my mood. And I've just rejected my buddy's invitation for tea.
I know I shouldn't be feeling like this, but I simply love this place. This place allows me to chill and to enjoy the snow falling. I've always wanted to live in snow-covered countries, build a cottage then get settled down with some crops and livestocks of my own. For those who don't know what I'm talking about, I'm refering to Siberia. It's my honour to be exiled there.
Why? I hate this place. I hate being born here. I hate the fierce competition going on among people. To me, this is hell. And I believe in Heaven. I wish I'm in Heaven right now doing all sorts of services up there, but ney, I have a purpose here on earth.
Knowing that I simply cannot stand the hell I face out there in the world, I need God to be my strength, my refuge and my help in times of need. I know that doing all things with my own strength and trying too hard to achieve my dream is not going to work. I can't do great things alone, and thus, God is my helper and the source of Love at the end of the day.
Dear Lord, this place belongs to you. Everything I have, I give them all to you. Including my dreams and desires, let them be done not in my own will, but according to your will. Amen.
This is a place where God and I know and deeply understand. It is a place of refuge now. I believe no one is truly independent, in a way, all of us needs a resting place. It's already about 10 months and this blog has been the window to my heart. Just two more months and it'll be celebrating its first anniversary. And also, I'll be celebrating the first anniversary of the New Hope I received.
The New Hope allows me to continue living. Today I'm pretty messed up in my mind. Every conversation I had with my friends are totally screwed up. Yea, all thanks to my mood. And I've just rejected my buddy's invitation for tea.
I know I shouldn't be feeling like this, but I simply love this place. This place allows me to chill and to enjoy the snow falling. I've always wanted to live in snow-covered countries, build a cottage then get settled down with some crops and livestocks of my own. For those who don't know what I'm talking about, I'm refering to Siberia. It's my honour to be exiled there.
Why? I hate this place. I hate being born here. I hate the fierce competition going on among people. To me, this is hell. And I believe in Heaven. I wish I'm in Heaven right now doing all sorts of services up there, but ney, I have a purpose here on earth.
Knowing that I simply cannot stand the hell I face out there in the world, I need God to be my strength, my refuge and my help in times of need. I know that doing all things with my own strength and trying too hard to achieve my dream is not going to work. I can't do great things alone, and thus, God is my helper and the source of Love at the end of the day.
Dear Lord, this place belongs to you. Everything I have, I give them all to you. Including my dreams and desires, let them be done not in my own will, but according to your will. Amen.
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